2017 – The Year of Leaps of Faith

2017.

If there is a year I both hate and love, it is this one.

I opened 2017 with a renewed enthusiasm, but a few days after, I was instantly defeated by depression.

I am now going through my journal, looking back at how I felt during those days, and the pain was still real though, I can detach myself from there now.

Yet 2017 could also be my bravest year thus far.

Managing and leading our whole family’s first out of the country trip.

Shedding 10 pounds.

Preparing for our big day with limited resources.

Solving our family’s financial crisis.

If there is a verse I can most relate to this year, it is my life verse. Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Because there were a lot of leaps of faith I took this year. And there are times I can only utter that verse and nothing else.

A lot of uncertainties and doubts, but Jesus proved faithful in the end. Even when I was not.

I closed 2017 with more wisdom I was seeking at the beginning of the year. It was ironic because I was asking Him to take the cup of suffering away, never realizing that it was I who asked for it in the first place. Sometimes, what we seek for is not given to us as smoothly and easy as we want it to. We have to unearth it beneath misfortune and pain. But it was definitely worth it. Because wisdom is more likely to remain to us when it is harvested from deep, soul-shattering experiences. Not hand it over, words of wisdom from inspirational speakers. Not tweets from a famous personality. But wisdom that was a result of a test of our character.

It is also the year I will forever hold close to my heart. The year I married the man God has prepared for me. I can go on to explain how tremendously blessed I am to be given this privilege of becoming his wife, but I can only tell this. I now understand what it means when I hear happy, married people say “Married life is the best”. And my prayer remains that we never take for granted this extreme blessing. Married life is a huge leap of faith. Who, on their right minds, would want to give up freedom and forget one’s self just to ensure the wellness and happiness of the other? Marriage could be the riskiest thing one can bet her life with. But it is also the most rewarding, I think.

So much for a year that was a roller coaster.

Time to fill new pages, 2018.

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