She dreaded long and quiet walks.
It is with those moments she has no choice but to dig deep in her soul and confront issues she’s running away from. It is with those moments she knows she can be true to herself and converse with her truest friend.
“Hi, it’s been a while. I’ve missed doing this with you.”
She smiles shyly, careful not to look him in the eye. She chose to walk along an inconspicuous trail of a bustling city.
“You know that I’ve missed this too. I just missed being with you.”
A minute has passed and he was taking his time with her.
“So, how’s your heart?”
It was the question that led her to him before, the question that always gets her and draws her to him.
There is a certain tenderness in his voice that convinced her she is not mistaken for taking this walk, this conversation with him. How she missed being asked that way.
She looked at the dazzling lights from afar and refused to answer away. How can she tell him the true condition of her heart without feeling embarrassed? But then again, when did he ever let her feel ashamed? It is only with him she felt so.. safe.
“Do I still need to tell you? I know you already know the answer.”
“I see you have lost your trust in me.”
He said it with a tinge of sadness that almost broke her heart.
“It’s not that, it’s just that.. I don’t know..”
Confusion is all over her pale face.
“Are you now hesitant to tell stories? You used to speak your mind freely.”
Used to. It seemed to her like ages ago. When will her longing end?
“I know, but how can I tell you without sounding cruel?”
“You also seem to be rather forgetful. You know you can say anything to me and I won’t judge.”
His words are torturing her, leading her to the warmness she longed for. All her defenses seem to melt away whenever she’s in his presence.
She said it with all the remorse she can let him feel but she knows it will not be enough.
“I only ask one thing from you.”
He has said it before and she anticipated he will say it again. He is the most trustworthy she had ever met in her life and somehow, she felt a bit of excitement for what’s to come. He has offered him a lot of chances to start over. How can she ever repay him?
For the first time since they walked, she looked into his gaze and she realized how much of her yearns for this moment. She finally felt free again, like she can do absolutely anything, like she can be comfortable for who she really is again. What is she thinking living outside his love all those time?
With a rising confidence, she placed her heart in His hands. And the peace she had felt is something she had not experienced before.