The Painful Process
I just realized my blog entries for the past years were mainly two – reflection of the past year and expectations for the new year. What happened to my promise to blog once a month? Hehe. My bad. Perhaps it was the work that took its toll on me. Perhaps it was lack of inspiration. Or simply put, it could just be plain laziness on my part. After all, you can always give time to things you prioritize, right? So here I am, struggling to pound the keyboard and contribute something worthwhile and worth reading in this web of online stuff. And hoping to keep that promise.
So for the month of May, I decided I will blog about – lessons and leanings for the first half of the year. (Just few days left and it’s the middle of the year already!)
Last two weeks ago I found myself crying, no bawling hard that I think it was my most intense crying time for years already (Last time I cried like that was when I’m still in SGV. Hehe) I have been working like a horse day in and day out even on weekends. The saddest part was, I wasn’t able to go home for the much anticipated birthday celebration of my lola which is like an annual reunion for our family. My only question during that time was “God,why?” He did not answer but gave me the needed strength and skills. You know how sometimes a few days can accelerate how mature you are better than months and months of “stress-free” life? Looking back, gems of wisdom are within those two weeks that I thought I’ve aged (not physically!) quite fast. I remembered the words of Rica Peralejo while contemplating on my recent struggle. It’s just amazing how God prepares you for another level of battle with words of comfort and encouragement like this one:
So here’s a little bike anatomy from a newbie, hehe. I have something to adjust my gears with on the left hand part of the handle bar and also the right. The left is for my front wheel, and right for my rear. Whenever I click, it changes something in my chains that gives a different resistance for pedaling my bike. Naturally the higher the resistance will mean the heavier or the more effort it requires to push the bike forward. It is especially harder on inclined ground, of course.
Nevertheless I noticed something. Lower resistance means lighter pedaling and at the onset I thought this was going to be my staple riding speed and yet I was wrong. As it appears, when the resistance is higher, there is more power in my over all performance on the bike and more distance is covered, as well as speed accelerates faster with a few heavy pushes. On the other hand, lighter resistance doesn’t get me very far even when I seemed to have been pedaling forever.
I marveled at the thought that even life is like that. The more challenging it is, it usually gives us much growth in such a short amount of time.
I actually remember a story I once read from a magazine, about this lady who went with her friend to ride a helicopter and found herself all tubed in the hospital in the same day. Apparently, something went wrong that the propeller hit her and almost chopped her body into pieces. From that point on, almost every part had to be reconstructed after ensuring that she’s out of the woods. And then she said that although it was a very depressing experience, her psychiatrist told her that her emotional growth has accelerated to a point that she is wiser than all women her age by about 10 years or more.
The moral of my biking thoughts and challenges in life is that hardships really can be painful to us, yet they really do good in helping us move forward faster in life. Of course it depends on the way we see things and how receptive me are of the good side that comes with the challenging experience, but if we are open to it, heavy pushes on the bike and in life can really get us very far.
Ahhhh. Such comfort. Those challenging weeks had me striving for excellence and realizing I can still give so much passion to my work that I thought was gone before. It had me to discover I am able to work under pressure with quality. It had me compare myself with the bests in the field of accountancy in a good way – and the beautiful discovery that I can solve problems I thought were wayyyy too difficult for my ability. Oh, how I belittled myself before. It had me looking forward for the day the “busy season” will end and I can rest with my family. It had me trust that this is part of something grander, that this is a preparation for something God wanted me to do. But more than the result, I appreciate how God molded my character through this painful process. How God aged me through a few weeks.
May this words bring comfort to you today.