2015 – A Personal Reflection
If there is one bible verse that more or less captures my 2015 journey it would be:
“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.” – Proverbs 19:21, ESV
I began 2015 with audacious and enthusiastic goals. (Please refer to What I’ believing for in 2015). I resolved to do my best to achieve those goals but during the first quarter of the year, an inevitable event crushed my spirit. I learned that my mother was hiding from us huge sums of liability to various debtors. It accumulated through the years and we also found out that our house, lot and tricycle are already pledged for those debts. It was a very difficult time for the family that I feared my parents will separate. It was also a challenging time for me for I heard in my prayers that God wants me to help my mother. I can still vividly remember that night I learned of that truth, I cried really hard and told God, “I know this is not a problem but an opportunity for growth.” It was God’s assurance that kept me. I had a very strong resolve to finish off all debts and gave myself a deadline. I pulled out my stock market investment and I was left with zero savings. I even have to obtain bank loans so I can finish them off. By the grace of God, it was paid off by August 2015. Yes, I did not achieve my personal finance goals but God worked through my life and I won’t forget the lesson it brought and taught me. It was a recurring problem in the family and was always the source of fights between our parents. I knew it had to end. And I was very grateful that it’s over. I think the best thing about it is that I now have a more loving relationship with my mother. Praise God for trials. :)
I wanted to achieve so much last year that I forgot I must focus first on what matters most – relationships. I was already stepping out to grab my personal goals but God halted my steps, telling me to slow down and focus on resolving relationship matters first. While writing this, I read my journal entries during those dark times and I am amazed how confused I was, how inadequate I felt, how terrified of the future I previously was, but how trusting my heart became. I can only look back in wonder.
“Your ears will hear a word behind you, “This is the way, walk in it,” whenever you turn to the right or to the left.” – Isaiah 30:21,NASB